"Fuck you and your dirty whore mother" or "Why I hate junk mail"

Junk mail... The bane of my hotmails existence... Why, oh why do I need twenty some odd messages a day that my penis needs enlarging? What do they know that I don't? And who the hell is going to apply for a mortgage online through a mass e-mail? C'mon people, with identity theft rampant do you really think these people are after your best interests? Then there's the credit cards... Each one is guaranteed for at least a $1,000 limit!!! I know that all I have to do is hit the empty button and it takes about three seconds to get rid of it all but it still pisses me off. It's three seconds I could be doing something else! The way I figure it is if I live to the ripe old age of 75 (which is quite generous considering the lifestyle I've led) I will lose 14 and a half hours of my life to take those three seconds ever day. That may not seem like much but fuck you it's my time! If I answered every e-mail I got for a week I'd have about $250,000 worth of credit cards and a 42 inch dick... actually wait a minute... maybe I'm on to something...

- R