Comic books.

Ok I think I have figured out the secret to eternal life. Comic books! Now bare with me here... I firmly believe that when you have nothing to look forward to in life your body sort of just gives up and that's why a lot of older people die. Nothing to look forward to other than another day where you may or may not defecate in your trousers. Comic fans, on the other hand, can look forward to the greatest day of the week: Wednesday! Every Wednesday my box is rammed full with fantastic things (get your minds out of the gutter, you know what I mean). The new issue of Y or Fables or Batman for example. How can I ever shuffle lose my mortal coil when I need to know how Superman saves Lois from Brainiac, or if Amy Racecar gets away, or if All-Star Batman and Robin 5 will ever come out? What ever would I do? Unless Heaven is one big fucking back issue storage room count me out. I'll stay down here on Earth, muddle through the week, trying not to piss all over myself and eagerly anticipate every Wednesday of my life. Now this may seem stupid to a lot of you that don't read comics, but when I am bagging and boarding my new issue of Uncanny X-Men 1322 at the ripe old age of 99 we'll see who's laughing! It'll be me! Shitting my pants and laughing on you non-believers cold cold graves.

I look forward to it.

- R