My Fuckable Five:

So after catching an old Friends episode the other night I find myself sitting here at work contemplating who would be on my list of people I can bang without it being called cheating... After much deliberation I have compiled the following list:

#5: Jessica Simpson



Have you seen her "These Boots Are Made For Walking" video?!?! Jesus H. Christ! That is a hotness rarely seen in anything... I could watch that video all day long. All I'd need is a quart of Vasoline and a roll of paper-towels. This broad is fuckable to the Nth degree and she's dumb! What a great fucking combo! And now that her and Nick have split it is time to make my move...

#4: Stephenie LaGrossa



Anyone that has read my blog for awhile has heard me mention my sweet sweet Stephanie from Survivor. Wow. Just wow. I love the accent too. This beautiful baby can take my immunity challenge anytime... I don't really know what that means...

#3: Summer from The O.C. (Rachel Bilson)



How can you not want to get it on with a girl that dresses as Wonder Woman? She is just so damn adorable. Look at those pouty lips and that beautiful set of... eyes. Oh the things I would eat out of her ass... You have no idea!

#2: Angelina Jolie



Ahhhhh Angelina. Almost the hottest women ever... So curvy... So beautiful... Anyone who says they wouldn't fuck this girl is a filthy liar and shot be drug out into the street and punched in the teeth. Man, woman, gay or straight, all of 'em would take a crack at her if they thought they had a chance. Unfortunately none of us do.

#1: Keira Knightley



'Nuff said.



Honorable Mentions go to all the chicks on Lost, J. Lo (yeah, yeah I know), Natalie Portman, Jennifer Esposito, Trish Stratus, Natalie, Sarah and of course the Smallville girls.

- R

My week in review...

Ok a few things to talk about this fine foggy Sunday...

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: 4 out of 6

Well this is definitely better than the last movie, but I still found it lacking in terms of what they kept from the book and what they left out. Gone is the Quidditch World Cup match (it happens off-screen), in fact there isn't any quidditch in the whole movie! Also missing are the Dursley family and a few other little things. It was basically a movie about the last half of the book which is all the Tri-Wizard Tournament, and while that was a good part of the story it was only just that: a part. Not the whole story at all. All in all I think I'll be disappointed with every Potter movie from now on because the books are just too big to adapt. It'd be like trying to make a movie out of Lord of the Rings... Wait a minute... What? They did do that? Oh Ok... Well, anyways the only way this could have been done properly would have been to make it either 3 and a half hours long or possibly break it up Kill Bill style. That being said it is still a good movie. The kids acting is getting pretty good and finally seeing Lord Voldemort was very very cool. Ralph Fiennes was a perfect choice for this role, and all other roles were done extremly well. One thing that bothered me though is the lack of screentime for Snape. Alan Rickman is far to good of an actor and Snape is such an interesting character that it is upsetting to see him so underused in these last two flicks.

Superman Returns Teaser: 4 out of 6

Good teaser in the regards that it really does tease. Only problem was it was mostly footage that had already been shown before. There was a fan made trailer circulating the 'net a few months ago and it was almost identical to this one... maybe even a little bit better than the official one. I know I ranted about this Routh guy who plays The Man of Steel but I actually like the way he looks in motion. He still looks dumb in promotional shots and anytime he stands still but damn he looks cool flying around. They better not fuck this one up...

Hmmm... I guess that's about it right now... Just trying to think about anything else I have seen lately or read or heard... Can't think of much. Ok so I guess I'll find some new stuff to talk about next week. Later.

- R


P.S. On re-reading this post I am realizing I didn't swear very much so fuck fuck balls ass cunt muthafucka shit shit ball-licking twat...

Eddie Guerrero 1967-2005

Sunday morning I went to check my list of daily websites and saw that Eddie Guerrero had passed away that morning. He was found in his hotel room with his toothbrush still in his mouth, heart-failure is what the autopsy has confirmed. Most of you will have no idea who Eddie is, to those of you who do we all know he will be missed and he was one of the greatest of all time. To those of you who don't, Eddie Guerrero was on of the best professional wrestlers of all time. He was a legend in a family of legends. One of my favorite Eddie moments was seeing him and Chris Benoit as the WWE and Heavyweight Championships at Wrestlemania 20, with Chris beating Triple H and Eddie beating Kurt Angle. Seeing and hearing the very emotional messages from other wrestlers about memories of Eddie has almost brought me to tears on more than one occasion. He was a fantastic man, from what I have heard from other fans. Always willing to stop and sign an autograph and take a picture, always smiling at the kids even when he'd rather be in bed resting his back. There have been some cheap shots taken at his death in the media, namely one on ESPN Radio attributing his death to steroid use. Eddie had battled with drug and alcohol addiction in the past but recently celebrated his 4 year clean and sober anniversary. He leaves behind a wife, three children, and more friends than you or I can count. The following are a few links to watch video about him if you are interested.

If you only watch one, watch Chris Benoit:
http://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/videos/

More WWE superstars paying tribute:
http://www.wwe.com/superstars/smackdown/eddieguerrero/testimonials/

As much as I don't like the guy he did lose a friend:
http://www.wwe.com/inside/news/edgeeddie

And probably the most touching one:
www.wwe.com/content/media/video/494606/1515310/1581782/3tdeddietribvid

VIVA LA RAZA EDDIE! You are missed...

- R

"Fuck you and your dirty whore mother" or "Why I hate junk mail"

Junk mail... The bane of my hotmails existence... Why, oh why do I need twenty some odd messages a day that my penis needs enlarging? What do they know that I don't? And who the hell is going to apply for a mortgage online through a mass e-mail? C'mon people, with identity theft rampant do you really think these people are after your best interests? Then there's the credit cards... Each one is guaranteed for at least a $1,000 limit!!! I know that all I have to do is hit the empty button and it takes about three seconds to get rid of it all but it still pisses me off. It's three seconds I could be doing something else! The way I figure it is if I live to the ripe old age of 75 (which is quite generous considering the lifestyle I've led) I will lose 14 and a half hours of my life to take those three seconds ever day. That may not seem like much but fuck you it's my time! If I answered every e-mail I got for a week I'd have about $250,000 worth of credit cards and a 42 inch dick... actually wait a minute... maybe I'm on to something...

- R