Nightmare In 3-FUCKING-D!!!!

Holy freaking wow! So October 20th will see the re-release of one of the greatest movies of all time in beautiful Disney Digital 3-D. Nightmare Before Christmas on the big screen again
and it's in 3-D? Who could possibly resist? No one that's who. Only soulless deviant fuck bags. And I don't want them at the theater anyways. I am so completely psyched up for this but at the same time I have this horrible sinking feeling in my stomach that for some dumb ass reason we will not get this movie in Victoria. If not I'll need to get a list of al of you who wanna go to Van to check it out. There is no way I want to miss this! Also I saw that they are re-releasing the soundtrack with new covers by Fallout Boy, Marilyn Manson, Fiona Apple and such. This news makes me frightened and curious all at the same time. Could be good. Could be fucking atrocious. Only time will tell...

FUN FACT! Jack Skellington made his first appearance in Beetlejuice as a character on Beetlejuice's carousel hat towards the end of the filck! Neato gang!

CLICK HERE FOR THE TRAILER! woot!

- R

Pride of Baghdad

Just a quick little post to say that if you don't already have this book you need to buy it now! It is quite simply the greatest graphic novel I have ever read! I can't even describe how amazing this story is. It is based on a pride of lions that escaped from the Baghdad zoo in 2003 when the Americans were bombing the city. What follows is an intense and beautiful tale of what these lions go through. Brian K. Vaughn is one of my favorite writers, with Y: The Last Man and Ex Machina to his credit. The artist however completely makes this book. Niko Henrichon is quite simply a genius. Everything he draws in this story is truly beautiful. I am quite sure he will become one of the new "hot" artists in comics today.

It's beautiful.

Go see Gareth and buy the fucking book already, alright?

- R

What's The Deal With Prison Rape?

Sorry for the lack of posting folks but I spent two day recovering from Beer Fest and have been busy as well. Beer Fest was a success, which means I got drunk and threw up on some guys pick-up. Fun for the whole family!

In other news I am currently writing a script that will hopefully become a T.V. Movie of the Week called "Bullied: Inside the Mind of a Shooter". It is a gripping drama ripped from today's headlines! Mostly because all MOTW's have to be ripped from today's headlines. It's actually turning out to be rather easy to write and I'm rather enjoying it so far.

Today's fun fact! A "jiffy" is actually one one-thousandth of a second!

I don't know what it is about the movie Reality Bites but I just fucking love it. I just watched it the other night with Cindy (who had never seen it!) and realized that I don't know any girls who actually like Ethan Hawke. I think the guy is so cool! Troy Dyer is one of the coolest characters ever! If I were to compile a list of the top ten cool guys in movies Ethan would be on it twice! Once as Troy from Reality Bites and then again as Jesse in Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. Others in this list would probably be Wolverine in X2, Lando Calrissian, Michael Keaton Bruce Wayne, Pierce Brosnan in the Thomas Crown Affair and Matty Damon in Good Will Hunting. All cool guys. Maybe I'd include Marty McFly or Jack and Sawyer from Lost. Cool folks all around.

What else... Hmmm... Well I hate people. But that's nothing new so I guess I'm done for today.

Until next time my faithful bum touchers,

- R

Till Armageddon, no Shalam, no Shalom

Last night was simply the coolest. Seeing Superman Returns on IMAX was probably the greatest time I have had watching a movie at the theatre. It is already one of my all time favorites, but to see it on that massive screen was breathtaking. If it plays for a few more weeks I just might have to make a return trip!

We also went to a BBQ at Billie's school last night. Lots of fun and a chance to meet some of the other parents. Unfortunately we weren't there too long and I didn't actually meet anyone new but still had some good grub. I'm gonna try to take a more active parent role this year and go to more school meetings and such.

I think that's about it for now... Going to The Great Canadian Beer Fest tomorrow with Mike, Monica and Joe. Should be good times! Lots of interesting beers to sample. Mike and I went last year and had a blast! Pumpkin beer totally kicks ass, and actually tastes like pumpkin pie.

A-be a-be a-be That's all folks!

- R

And The Whirlwind Is In The Thorn Tree

So today at 8:00 PM I will be experiencing my first ever IMAX movie! Now I don't mean a regular movie, I am talking about a large as life bonafide Hollywood blockbuster kids! Superman Returns is playing at the IMAX downtown, marking the first (at least to my knowledge) time a "real" movie has played at our IMAX. I can not wait to see this in all of its beautiful IMAXian glory.

In other daily news I have re-read Jew Gangster. Again. Four times now. Fuck is it ever good! I am thinking that maybe I will have to divide my friends into two categories now. Those who have read Jew Gangster and those who haven't. The latter of those are clearly the inferior group. Why haven't you all read it yet?

FUN FACT! Brazil declared it's independence from Portugal on this day in 1822!

Also today marks my 10,615th day on this planet and I can't wait for day 21,138. I plan on that being the day my bowels void themselves all on their lonesome. But really 10,615? Fuck man, I remember day 3,961 like it was yesterday and it was a good day. A darn good day.

I am also very happy today about the use of miscellaneous links that I have been adding to my posts. Yay miscellaneous links! I proclaim this to be "Day of the Link", not to be confused with "Day of the Triffids" which is much smarter than me.

So my friendly neighborhood wall-crawlers, I bid you farewell and will see you tomorrow. Same Bum-touching time! Same Bum-touching website!

- R

Spellchecker Keeps Trying To Turn Fuck To Fuji. What The Fuji Is That About?

So I have decided to take a course in comic book art through correspondence with the Joe Kubert School Of Cartoon and Graphic Art! It's only $325 for my first course which will be Heroes and Superheroes! Fuck man I am stoked! I will be sending off my payment next month so hopefully I'll have my course info in December. Fuck that is gonna be so cool!

Also I think I will be finally getting a camera in Jan.-Feb. of next year and will hopefully be able to start filming my movie or some short films at least by the spring. If anyone out there wants to help that would be great just e-mail me or comment here. It's basically just gonna be me, Joe and Cindy making silly little shorts at first. A fine use for $5,000 worth of equipment... right? Well if nothing it will be fun. That's about it for today, other than the fact that I have a big ol' stack of comics to read. Fuck I love Wednesday. When you're a comic fan it's like Christmas comes once a week. New issue of Y in there today! Yippee!

Fuck. I can't believe I just said Yippee.

- R

To Boldly CG What No Man Has CG'd Before...

So I am not sure yet if this is sacrilege or if it's gonna work out to be pretty cool, but CBS has announced that they will be giving the original Star Trek TV series a face lift with all new computer graphics. Apparently they will be changing all of the space shots to give the Enterprise a more realistic look. Now I don't know if this is going to look silly or not based on the fact that the actors will still have bad make-up and the sets are still very 60's vision of the future. The biggest thing I have a problem with is that Alexander Courage's original opening credits song is also going to be replaced with a full orchestra version of the classic tune. What the fuck, over? This has got to be one of the strangest ideas I've ever heard. It's not even for a DVD release but for a new syndicated run. Will these even hit DVD? Will every one who forked out hundreds of dollars for TOS have to double down? Mick Okuda, author of numerous Star Trek reference guides, has this to say, "We're taking great pains to respect the integrity and style of the original. Our goal is to always ask ourselves: What would Roddenberry have done with today's technology?"

Fuck him and fuck integrity. The appeal of classic Trek (the only series I really ever liked) was how cool it looked. No CG, no bumpy-head Klingons, no overhauled opening credits, no Han shooting first... Whoops. Wrong poorly done CG overhaul. There is also supposed to be added background and scenery to make everything look more fleshed out and realistic. Is nothing sacred in Hollywood anymore? They remake everything cuz there are no new original ideas in Hollywood (just look at what happened to Planet of the Apes) or add "new and improved" effects shots for a younger generation. If this continues are we expected to see Gilligan's Island look more like the set of Lost? Or perhaps the Golden Girls will have digitally added walkers? Fuck why stop there! Let's change such classics as Leave it to Beaver by digitally manipulating Wally and the Beav into people more hip and contemporary. Give the Brady Bunch a face lift and create a realistic backyard instead of Astroturf. Hell why don't you just CG Jar-Jar into Mayberry while you're at it you heathenistic cock smoking fuck holes!

There is a reason things are classics people. These are no longer the classic movies and programs we all grew up with. Lucas really opened a can of worms with those Special Editions back in '97. A big can of worms. And what do worms taste like? Shit, my friends. Worms always taste like shit.

- R

Crikey! I'm fucking dead!

Well it is a sad day today. Steve "Crocodile Hunter" Irwin has been killed at the age of 44 while filming a documentary about the Great Barrier Reef near Queensland. He was felled by a stingray barb through his chest. The crew was quick to scramble, but Irwin was dead before the emergency helicopter arrived on scene. "He came on top of the stingray and the stingray's barb went up and into his chest and put a hole into his heart," said John Stainton, friend and colleague of Irwin.

He is survived by his two children and wife Terri, and he will be sorely missed by thousands of fans around the world.

- R

My week in review Sep. 3

So here are my reviews and opinions on the general goings on in my life. Let's start with:

Rick Dees: 1 outta 6

Good God I don't know why, but I can't stand Rick Dees! He is the poor man's Casey Kasem. A welfare Dick Clark! My least favorite radio listening experiences all come back to the D-man. I just hate him and I don't know why.

Barnyard: 4 outta 6

Billie, Cindy and I all went to see this on Thursday and I have to say It was actually pretty good. I had very very low expectations and figured it would be a steaming pile of monkey feces. I was wrong. While it may not be as adult friendly as most cartoon movies these days it still has some damn funny jokes and in a lot of ways it reminded me of the Far Side, which can't be a bad thing. If you have kids go see it, if you don't and you like this stuff wait for DVD.

Jew Gangster: 6 outta 6

This is one of my new favourite books. I have read it twice since I got it and will probably read it again by the end of the week. Joe Kuberts beautiful storytelling is reminiscent of Will Eisner, and the story reminds me of a more serious version of Mobsters. I highly recommend this to anyone who enjoys old school gangster mafia stories.

Hugo's Raspberry Cheesecake: 6 outta 6

Mike, Monica, Richard, Rebecca, Andy, Cindy and I all went to Hugo's last night for desert and drinks after an ok dinner at the Canoe Club. I had the raspberry cheesecake and three crown and cokes, and the desert was amazing! I love a good cheesecake and this was simply divine. For six bucks I would be surprised if you could find a tastier desert. Plus it came with a scoop of ice cream! How can you beat that?! Seriously! Yum yum yum.

Old Navy's Get your Fash-on Ads: 0 outta 6

I fucking hate these commercials more than I dislike Rick Dees. I hate them with the burning fury of a hundred thousand suns. Get your fash on? What does that even mean you ignorant fucks? If this catch phrase spawns a life of it's own and worms it's way into current pop culture I will personally boycott / burn down Old Navy. Your fash on? Seriously. Fuck.

Well that's all for now. See everyone? I'm updating in a more timely manner! I can do this! Excelsior!

- R

Neglect...

So sorry for neglecting my blog of late. I apologize to anyone who actually still reads this. At this point even All-Star Batman & Robin ships more regularly (Maybe two people will get that joke). So lots of new stuff since I last posted, San Diego was a fucking blast! For you mainstreamers I saw the cast of Spidey 3 and Ghost Rider, Kevin Smith, Adam Brody, Quentin Tarentino and Rosario Dawson. For you comic types I saw Matt Wagner, the Aspen boys, Jim Lee, Scott Williams and many other comic greats. The highlight for me was Matt Wagner though. This guy is so fucking cool. He is a the nicest comic guy I've ever had the pleasure of talking to. I met him before at Emerald City in Seattle and stopped by to see him twice in SD. We talked about Superman Returns and Batman comics with his son who is quite a talented artist as well. I now have a Superman sketch to complement my Batman one he did in the spring. I also got a Superman for Gareth which he has displayed at the store! Very cool.

Just picked up the book "Jew Gangster" by Joe Kubert. Fucking awesome. You should all buy it or at least read my copy. Also finished reading "Black Hole" by Charles Burns. Also abso-fucking-lutely great.

So hopefully I'll start typing out more stuff for you all to read but I am hard at work on a couple of screenplays and also fleshing out a comic I am thinking of self-publishing so who knows... If anyone does still read this can you leave a comment once in awhile? It feels like no one is reading because no one comments... :( Poor me. Also while I was at Legends today Gareth said something that made me laugh and sounds like something that could easily be taken out of context... "Here, let me move this Jew Gangster while I slide this in underneath." It sounds sexual and violent. I love it.

- R